Bully Fags

Valentine's Day Series: Love Me / Hate Me (Part 1)

Here it is the last one in the Valentine's Series. I've decided to go ahead and post the first part. FYI - I'll probably never commit to three stories with dates ever again. :) It was a lot of work.

Part 2 will be posted February 14th!​​​​

Warning: This one is dark. Homophobia, physical violence, and abuse, especially in the second part of the story. While there is a bit of that in each of these Valentine's Day stories, the other two are lighter on them (especially the first story!).

February 14th

Taylor entered his house after school and he felt like he could almost melt. He was practically floating, not even walking, as he had a dumb smile on his face, totally happy. Today had been the best day of his life. He had gotten a boyfriend! Ok, that might be an exaggeration. Nothing was official but he had been kissed... in front of everyone at school! The little fag was prancing through the house thinking about Jay. He was such a man. He was so lucky, he couldn't believe it. If anyone had seen the little queer skipping around the house singing and humming they would think he was biggest faggot ever - and they might be right! But he was in love.

He couldn't help but exude love. He had waited so long for this. Not just for a boyfriend but THE boyfriend. The love of his life. The man he had been thinking about non-stop. This was the beginning of the romance of a lifetime. He knew he would never leave Jay, no matter what. They were destined to be together. Well, he had to get ready for tonight! Smiling dumbly, Taylor made his way to the bathroom to get ready. He turned on the shower and waited for it to warm up.

Taylor had been obsessed with Jay for a while now. 'Obsessed' is not an exaggeration, as you will see. It all started about a year ago when Taylor started a new school. Taylor knew he was gay and never thought much about it. He just was. Sure he had gotten bullied a bit but for the most part people didn't care. He had had a boyfriend before in his old school but he was single now. On the first week of being in his new school he passed by the weight room in the gym and there he saw him. Jay, doing bicep curls in a sleeveless shirt. With each rep his biceps exploded into a size he thought impossible. Taylor had liked muscle guys but seeing this god standing not too far from him now - he was the hottest thing he had ever seen. 

Jay busted through a very impressive workout while Taylor absentmindedly walked on the treadmill. He kept stealing glances at Jay. Fuck he was impressive. Just a beast. He saw him take a break and talk to his friends. Just from his body language he could tell Jay was the alpha. And that turned on Taylor so much more. Eventually, Taylor had the crazy idea of getting physically close to Jay. He stopped himself on the treadmill and then walked close to Jay, excusing himself as he brushed by him. That's when the true obsession started. Taylor smelled Jay's pheremones and it was over. Jay's alpha pheremones bullied their way into Taylor's mind until they completely took him over. He felt it. And he loved it.

Jay was not Taylor's usual type which is perhaps why he was so enamored with him. Taylor liked muscle, sure, usually not huge guys. Just guys that took care of their body. And he was into the pretty boy type. Little body hair, maybe a well-kept tan, hair styled perfectly. Jay was none of that. Jay was a big . Jay pushed buttons Taylor didn't even realize he had. For several days Taylor kept thinking "WHY am I so attracted to Jay?" and WHY was he thinking about him so much. Taylor had always been a romantic. While other gay guys his age just wanted to get fucked, Taylor always wanted more. Don't get him wrong, he loved a good fuck. But he craved intimacy and passion in a way that you could have with someone in a relationship. After a few days, he stopped thinking of WHY he was so into Jay. It became apparent. Jay was the sexiest man he had ever seen. And he needed him in his life.

To say that Taylor became obsessed with Jay would be an understatement. Taylor could not get Jay off of his mind. It was almost supernatural. Taylor felt like being so into Jay was almost like discovering an entirely differnet sexuality inside himself he never knew he had. He was Jay-sexual. To make matters worse, the second week in school, Jay transferred to his English class. When he saw him walk into the room, he got nervous. What was Jay doing here? Turns out, his schedule had to be adjusted so that they could fit weight class in. Jay considered weights his most important class. Go figure!

Jay sat behind Taylor which was both good and bad. On the plus side, if he sat in front of Taylor, Taylor would never be able to focus on class. But on other hand, he couldn't stare at Jay all class. Still, he found plenty of moments to sneak a peak behind him to see his big muscle stud. Taylor loved everything about Jay. He loved how he talked. How when he was called on in class he almost never had the right the answer. Why would Jay care about studies when he had a body like that? Jay was so different from the guys Taylor usually went for. Smart, studious, and cultured. Jay was none of that. He was just a pure muscle jock stud. When Jay had to give a presentation on Shakespeare and had not only the most basic observations on it but got so much plain wrong, Taylor found it charming. Jay could do no wrong in Taylor's eyes.

The obsession got deeper. Subconsciously, Taylor knew that there was very little chance that Jay was gay. Taylor had never met or really even seen a gay guy like Jay. Sure, there were muscular gay guys no doubt, but Jay's attitude didn't give off that he was gay at all. And Taylor had heard about all the pussy Jay had fucked. But the heart wants what the heart wants. And Taylor began to form a fantasy around Jay. Not just a sexual fantasy but beyond that. He began to see Jay as his boyfriend. Taylor began to fantasize that Jay was closeted and that Taylor could win him over. And then these became beyond fantasy. Taylor began accepting them as real. He began thinking of them dating long term. He even indulged in marriage fantasies. The grip that Jay had over Taylor's mind was intense. And they had never even spoken a word to each other.

Taylor would spend hours a night looking at Jay's fitness Instagram. There were many videos of him lifting weights, giving advice on diet, weighing himself, measuring himself, and even some flexing videos. Taylor loved the flexing videos. He watched them over and over again. He clipped the best parts so he could watch them all together on repeat. He pleasured himself for hours looking at Jay. But it went beyond that. As he fingered his pussy and stroked his dick, he imagined Jay laying right next to him. He imagined kissing and hugging Jay. He imagined feeling his muscles. And after jacking off, he imagined sleeping next to Jay. How big his body would feel. The heat he would give off. The safety he would feel laying next to Jay.

Clear, Taylor had lost his mind. He would never fufill these fantasies but Taylor could not accept that reality. He needed Jay. Like, actually needed him. Jay was in every thought he had. He knew where Jay lived and drove by there frequently. Occasionally he would get lucky and see Jay outside doing something. Maybe exercising, shooting hoops, or just getting out of his car. Anything was appreciated as Taylor slowed down his car a bit, wanting to get every second he could with Jay. He would crave dates with Jay. He couldn't get them so he would order some food to eat at home and then have an entire conversation with an imaginary Jay sitting next to him. Eventually the converstion would get to his body. Taylor would compliment it and then they would excuse themselves to Taylor's bedroom. On his bed, Taylor would lie on his back, his knees up to his head. He had a dildo in his right hand and his phone in his left with an image of Jay on it. He would simulate what he imagined Jay's thrusts would feel like. There should have been someone there to stop Taylor and brought him to a therapist. But Taylor just went deeper.

Taylor was not used to the open homophobia in his new school. His old school was in a more liberal state and it was pretty rare to hear someone say "fag". Not as rare here. In fact, he heard it often. Usually, they weren't directed at him exactly, but especially around the jocks, he would hear them throw that out there. And there were other comments too that made Taylor feel weird. Taylor knew that some of those comments came from Jay's friends. But he had never heard Jay say a derogatory thing about gay people. He knew Jay would never do that. He may be a big musclehead jock but he wasn't a homophobe. In fact, he was secretly gay! And one day they would be together and he would never feel like he had to hide being gay. Of course, Taylor was very wrong about this but his mind was totally infected by Jay.

Months after first laying eyes on Jay, Taylor finally got the urge to speak to him. They really had no reason to talk at all. They weren't friends, they had nothing in common, and their friends didn't know each other. So it was really weird one day when in class Taylor just said, "Hey Jay" as Jay walked past his desk. Jay stopped in his tracks and just looked at Taylor, making a disgusted face. "Hey Jay!" said Jay, mocking Taylor's gay voice. Taylor's smile left his face as several of Jay's friends laughed. "Who the fuck is this fucking faggot..." he said as he walked past Jay, intentionally bumping into Taylor's shoulder. It didn't take much, but Jay's big body against Taylor's little one actually caused some pain for Taylor and he grunted somewhat loudly as Jay passed. The rest of the class, Taylor couldn't think of anything else. His world had been shattered by Jay's cruelty. How could Jay have treated him like that? Taylor knew that sometimes gay men in the closet lashed out with homophobia to try to conceal their own homosexuality. But that didn't feel like the case here.

No, Taylor thought. Jay wasn't gay. Taylor held in his tears until after class and then went to the bathroom to cry. He couldn't believe it. It wasn't just that he had gotten bullied. Although in his old school it wasn't a big deal that he was gay, he had been called a fag before. And he had seen the homophobia in his new school. Being called a fag by just anyone would not be a big deal. But this wasn't just anyone, this was Jay. Jay and Taylor were supposed to have a future together, whether Jay knew it or not. And in just one class that completely fell apart.

Taylor wasn't sure he could go on. He spent a long time just moping. The next weekend he barely left his room. It was like a really bad breakup. But in this case the guy barely knew Taylor existed. And he didn't ever even like him. Taylor could realize how pathetic he was being but it was like he was hardwired to love Jay. Taylor tried to become interested in other guys. He even tried to become obsessed with other guys. He looked at their Instagram pages and tried to go through the motions of what he did with Jay. But he always found himself going back to Jay. To those big biceps. The hulking back. The massive quads. His hot, manly voice. Taylor eventually dropped the pretense and just endlessly scrolled through any Jay content he could get his hands on. He was still obsessed. But now he was obsessed with the knowledge he would never have Jay romantically.

For a normal person this would have eventually stopped the obsession. But nothing about the way Taylor felt towards Jay was normal. And things were about to get a lot weirder. As days dragged on, Taylor finding himself having to accept that he and Jay would never be married and live happily ever after, Jay's anxiety got worse. He had to try his best not to stare at Jay during school but that was very hard and he felt his eyes still drifting towards him. His life seemed hopeless. He would never have Jay and the mindless scrolling through his social media wasn't helping anymore. He had seen it all, many many times. He had taken his 9" dildo in his ass while watching Jay flex in his quick Instagram videos, or just simply standing there, that beautiful smile on his face. Then, Taylor thought of a plan. If he couldn't have Jay, he would need more content of Jay. Deep down he knew this would never satisfy him, but it was the only thing he could think of now. He wanted more videos of Jay. And he wanted to see Jay naked.

Taylor logged on to Chaturbate. He had never actually put money into Chaturbate before, he had just jacked off to hot guys while others did. This was of course, before Jay, when the only thing that could get him off any more was that big, hulking homophobe. Today, though, Taylor put money into his account for the first time. He also did something else for the first time: he clicked on 'Women'. He found the perfect girl. Very pretty and had just started her stream so she was fully clothed. Taylor moved Chaturbate to his other monitor and started recording his screen. He recorded a lot of her, fully clothed. Occasionally she would say something to chat but other times she was typing and that was important, he wanted to get a lot of that footage. Eventually, the room got enough money for her to remove her top. Taylor contributed a few times to get her to play with her boobs. Then she stripped off her underwear and was playing with her pussy. Taylor had recorded the entire thing. He then requested to go private with her. This would definitely be expensive but Taylor knew it would be worth it if he could pull this off.

In the private room, Taylor told the girl that his name was Jay. "Hi Jay", she said. Perfect. He asked her to do things straight guys might like. At some points he asked her to type instead of talk. He got her to say Jay's name. At one point, Taylor asked her to play with her pussy. He then said that he was actually a really big, muscular guy and it would get him off to hear her talk about how much she loved his body. "Ohhhh Jayyyyyy," she moaned as her fingers went into her wet pussy. "Ohh fuck you're so big!" she yelled. She was a good actress. He got her to get more specific. She praised Jay's biceps, his back, even his ass. Then Taylor asked her to talk about how big Jay's cock was. "Oh wow, it's so big! I want it to fill up my pussy!" she moaned again. Taylor was getting some really good stuff.

By the time Taylor was done it had put a dent in his wallet but he had gotten over 2 hours of footage - 30 minutes of it being private with her saying Jay's name. Taylor got nervous as he thought about what he was about to do. In Taylor's brain now, Jay had confirmed himself to be the dumb jock he was. Although, he still loved him for it, he had some confidence that he could do this and pull one over on Jay. In a way, Taylor thought that Jay should be punished for what he did to him, even if he still saw him as his everything. So, on a Saturday night, Taylor created a fake account on Instagram. He found pictures of the women he had chatted with on Chaturbate and uploaded them, even a few (clothed) pictures. He made her name Caitlyn and made a pretty convincing profile. Taylor was good with computers and video, he had edited together some YouTube videos when he was younger and found it easy. He was thankful for that experience because it was about to come in handy.

After setting up the profile, Taylor took a deep breath. Logged in with "Caitlyn's" Instagram, he opened a DM to Jay. He had edited the 2 hour long video he had to get a clip of Caitlyn saying "Hey Jay" with her tits exposed. He took the 5 second clip and uploaded it to the DM and sent it to Jay. Taylor was nervous but also excited. He thought of the possibilities - being able to converse with Jay as if he was a woman. Now he just had to wait for Jay to respond. It was 10pm that night before Jay responded. "Damn, nice tits" he responded. Taylor scrambled for his phone when he heard the notification. He felt excitement throughout his body as he could finally talk to Jay. Sure, he was doing something completely immoral and tricking Jay, but it was his only option, he felt, and he was desperate. He got tears in his eyes as he saw the message.

"Thanks, I love your body. <3" Taylor responded. It took 3 minutes for a response but Taylor's eyes got wide when he realized that Jay sent a clip. "Yeah?" he responded in text with the video attached. Watching the clip, Taylor immediately got hard. In the video Jay was flexing his right bicep. He was so beautiful, even in this clothed flexing video. He had to see more. He sent a pic of Caitlyn's pussy with her fingers playing with it. "Fuck, you make me so horny" he texted back. That wasn't a lie. The fag was feeling the first inch of his dildo playing with his hole.

Taylor's phone buzzed. Another video. Jay was flexing hard in this one, his beautiful bicep exploding with power. FUCK! Opening the video he saw that beautiful muscle and Jay actually talked in this one, "Yeah, these biceps get all the bitches wet." He said. Fuck, he loved his deep voice and cockiness. He was bouncing on the dildo now, taking half of it up his little hole. Before he knew it, his phone buzzed again. He looked at the beautiful video Jay had sent of him double a double bicep flex.

WOW! What a stud! Taylor was so turned on. He thought Jay must be too to send two videos in a row. Taylor knew he had to stop for a moment and send another video. He sent a video of Caitlyn rubbing her pussy while saying "Ohhh Jay." He knew that would have affect on Jay. Buzz buzz. Taylor opened his phone.

Another clip from Jay. He lifted his shirt to show his amazing abs. As he touched them he said, "Fuck yeah, say my name while you play with that pussy. If I were there I'd show you what I could do to that," he said. Taylor could see he was getting hard in his jeans. He also sent another clip of him showing off his bis and tris. Fuck. This was heaven. Jay was such a stud. Taylor loved how much Jay was getting off on his own body and feeding off how much "Caitlyn" loved it. He was a self absorbed asshole with every right to be. Time for another clip of Caitlyn. Taylor sent a video of her using a dildo on her pussy sounding to close to orgasm while saying "Ohhh Jay your muscles are so fucking big!" Taylor knew Jay would like that. Taylor's phone went off again and he instinctively fucked himself harder on the dildo and his dick got harder. He was now taking the full dildo up and down inside his smooth faghole.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. As Jay took off his clothes, Taylor could see his cock through his underwear. "Yeah bitch, getting so fucking horny for my body. You're going to squirt when you see this," he said as he disrobed. He wasn't wrong, Taylor was so close to cumming. Taylor sent a video of Caitlyn saying "Oh please fuck me daddy," while really going to town on her pussy and then touching her tits. Then Taylor got bold. "Can I see your dick, daddy?" asked Caitlyn. Jay sent two videos and a message. "I don't send full nudes on here but this should be enough to get you off," he said. Two videos.

Now Taylor was screaming Jay's name as he violently pushed the dildo in and out of his pussy. Fucking jackpot. FUCK! Taylor was talking to Jay as if he could hear him. "Fuck Jay you're so incredible. Fuck I love you so much. Say you'll never leave me, Jay! Fuck me Jay please!!!" he wasn't touching his cock and he had to slow down the dildo before he would cum. He sent another video of Caitlyn, perhaps the final one of the night. It was her squirting and moaning Jay's name. "Oh you're so fucking big!!! I want you so bad Jay!" as she squirted. That ought to do it for Jay. He sent the video and continued to drill his own hole.

He didn't get an immediate response from Jay. Taylor kept going, bringing himself to brink of orgasm just putting that dildo in his hole and watching the videos Jay sent. 5 minutes later he got a message, "That was fun, we should do it again." He figured Jay must have cum, now it was his turn. If the neighbor's could hear Taylor they would think Jay was plowing his little pussy and giving him the fuck of his life. But it was all Taylor's imagination as he screamed Jay's name, how much he loved him, how big he was, how beautiful, etc. He had the biggest orgasm of his life that night as he watched Jay's hard cock in his underwear over and over again.

When he came, he messaged back Jay "That would be great - you're so hot". "You too" Jay responded. Taylor knew he wasn't talking to him but it almost felt like it. He just stared at the "you too" all night, switching between the new videos he got. He came 4 times and kept fucking himself with his dildo until 4am when he finally went to sleep. In the morning, he DMed Jay again, "Hey that was so much fun. Hope you're having a good day." 10 minutes later he got a message "Yep, just had breakfast and heading the gym, what are you doing?" And that started their text relationship. Taylor, pretending to be Caitlyn, would talk and flirt with Jay throughout the day. Taylor made several more private sessions with Caitlyn to get her saying a wide variety of things about Jay so he could use them in videos he sent. They talked about more than sex. Taylor was somehow falling even more in love with Jay. While they were in the same class, Taylor would bring out his phone and send a DM, secretly. He would look back at Jay to see him typing away, not knowing it was going to the fag just 2 desks in front of him.

They continued to exchange sexy videos. "Caitlyn" sending her tits and pussy to Jay while Jay sent flexing or bulge pics. He still never exposed his cock fully. Taylor was getting really hungry to see Jay's full cock. At this point, Taylor was pretty insane. He had gone done this route of tricking a straight boy through catfishing, and it had made his feelings towards Jay even stronger. Now that he was pretending to be a woman it was like he was his "wife" in his mind. The daydreams of their wedding didn't stop. They only got more intense. He couldn't imagine a life without Jay. Without his big muscles and hard cock. And his cocky attitude. And deep voice. Taylor then launched into the second part of his insane plan. By this time, Taylor had several hours of "Caitlyn" footage. As mentioned, he was good with computers and videos. And he had been planning something insane.

It took him a long time to get the courage to do it, but he finally felt confident enough in his plan to make it work. "Hey, want to do a video call sometime?" Taylor texted. "Yeah, sure, that would be great," said Jay. "What about tonight?" Taylor responded. "Yeah, I can make it work. 10pm." said Jay. Jesus Christ. Taylor had to get totally ready. His setup was quite sophisticated. On his Macbook he had a way to pipe in video to the call. He had setup many sequences of clips. And he had a way to link them together in a way that was at least convincing enough for a dumb, horny jock like Jay.

Just after 10, he got a message from Jay. "Ready?" Taylor wondered the same thing. Was he ready for this? He had planned so much. But it could go so wrong. In the worst case, if it wasn't convincing, if something went wrong, he would end the call. But he felt that Jay might get suspicious and never call back. And then what? He would have absolutely not contact with Jay. His life may as well be over. He had to try though. It was the most exciting thought - to talk to Jay through this other woman and eventually see his cock. Maybe even see it spew cum. Fuck, ok here we go.

Taylor responded back that he was ready. He took a deep breath and accepted the call from Jay. He was prepared technically for his part of the call but not prepared to see Jay live on cam. When he saw Jay on screen he just sighed at his beautiful image. And then he realized he needed to start the video feed. Taylor scrambled for the "Just a minute!" audio button he had recorded from the Chaturbate model. He pressed it - it sounded convincing and then he cut the video feed. It was "Caitlyn" sitting in her room, fully clothed. "Hi Jay!" she said. Taylor had made the video intentionally fuzzier than it really was with a lower resolution. He was doing a lot of trickery here and wanted it to be as convincing as possible. "Hey Caitlyn," responded Jay in his sexy voice. Taylor knew he had to focus on this but just hearing his voice, he had a real need to feel his dildo at his hole.

"You look sexy," said Jay, putting his flirt on. Taylor then lagged the video a bit intentionally and spliced the footage that he had of Caitlyn saying, "You look amazing Jay!" and then he spliced in the footage of her saying "I'm sorry, my connection is kind of shitty. It may lag a bit," she said. Jay was so horny he didn't give a fuck. "No problem, yeah I saw that but it's ok I can see you now." Jay offered a pleasantry - "How has your night been?" Taylor lagged it again and then put in the clip "My night's been pretty good," she said. And then she took off her top, "but I'd like to get right to it, Jay. I'm really horny." Perfect. Jay agreed. And they were off to the races. Taylor played it perfectly, a slow reveal of more and more clothing off. And Jay did in fact look amazing.

Jay was giving an incredible muscle show just for Taylor. Ok, he had no idea Taylor was watching but that's what Taylor imagined. He was never so in love as he was right then. When Jay took of his shirt Taylor noticed how hairy he was. He loved it. He loved everything about Jay. He wished he had recorded Caitlyn saying something about his body hair to really stroke his ego. When Jay took off his pants, revealing his underwear Taylor found it in increasingly hard to concentrate but somehow he managed. 

Jay put on the most impressive muscle display that Taylor had ever seen. How were they the same age?  He needed this man. He wanted to feel those muscles. He wanted to rest his head against that hairy chest. He wanted to feel his weight on top of him as he got fucked by the love of his life. Eventually, things got even sexier as Caitlyn was screaming Jay's name as she fucked her pussy with her vibrator. He had to try it now. He queued up the clip, "Please Jay! Please show me your cock!" Jay hesitated for a moment and then said, "I don't show my cock on video... usually. I'll make a quick exception for you," he said. Taylor felt so special! And then he did it. He flashed his cock.

Jackpot. Holy shit. Jay's cock. It looked beautiful. And his pubes. Taylor just wanted to rub his face against them. Taylor just stared at the screen. It was so beautiful. He queued up Caitlyn saying "Oh my god! It's so big Jay!". She was screaming and yelling all sorts of things. "Fuck my pussy! Fill me up, daddy!" Jay was eating it up. Taylor was also screaming things in his room. He couldn't help himself now, he was now bouncing up and down on his dildo imagining it was Jay's cock. "Please Jay! Fuck me!" An alpha, an imaginary girl, a fag were all about to cum in unison. And then they all did. Jay showed his cock again as he stroked it and a massive jet of cum flew out of his cock. "FFUCCCKK MEEE JAYYYYY" screamed Taylor as he sat down hard on the dildo in his ass, his own dick unloading a strong load of cum. And then Caitlyn came and squirted on screen.

To wind it down, Taylor had a series of clip to end the call. They both left the call and Taylor just stared at the screen. He was playing the clips of Jay's cock over and over again. He finally saw it. The man was perfect. He had to have him. His mind was so gone. There was no future for Taylor without Jay. Something had to be done. He had hoped this would soothe his burning passion for Jay but it only made it worse. Seeing Jay's cock, hearing him talk like that, seeing him put on a show just for him. He had to have him in his life, no question. He would do ANYTHING for that.

He kept talking to Jay with Caitlyn but it wasn't enough. They even had a second call, all 3 spraying in orgasmic pleasure. But he needed more. He needed physical contact. He needed to interact with Jay, not through Caitlyn. He was fiending for it. Jay was his drug. He would do anything to get a taste. He decided he was going to try to talk to Jay at school again. His opportunity presented itself in front of him at school. He was at his locker and Jay was right by him talking to a friend. Taylor looked around in his locker a bit more, stalling, waiting for a break in their conversation. He finally found the time and shut his locker door closed and turned to face Jay. Jay looked at him as he heard the locker shut and Taylor looked into Jay's eyes and just say, "Hey Jay." In Jay's eyes, Taylor could see them turn. Just hearing Taylor talk to him, Jay's eyes narrowed and Taylor could see... hate? disgust? A combination. The feeling was intense.

Then he spoke. Well, more like yelled. "What the fuck is your problem faggot?" he said. Taylor felt Jay's hands on him and Jay pushed him hard against the lockers. Taylor head banged against the lockers. "Didn't I tell you not to fucking talk to me? Talk to me again and we'll have a real fucking problem. Understand me faggot?" he said. He was glaring at Taylor. Taylor felt genuinely scared. "Y-y-yeah, I'm sorry," he responded. People were watching. Jay just glared at Taylor for a few more seconds. Taylor took him in completely. He had to look up slightly as Jay towered over him. His furrowed brow, the veins in his neck and forehead, the pure anger and hate in his face. No one had ever made this expression, or anything like it, to Taylor before. It was pure rage and hate. Jay finally broke their gaze and then punched the locker beside Taylor. Taylor jumped in terror. Taylor just stood at his locker. He couldn't believe what had had happened. People were starting to walk away, some laughing at Taylor. Taylor just stared straight ahead for a few more seconds before coming back to reality.

He was shaking. All over. Jay was terrifying. Jay hated him. He would never love him. It all came crashing back down on Taylor. He had already come to terms with that but talking to Jay online as Caitlyn, he almost fooled himself into thinking that Jay could talk to him like that. Feel things like that to him. But he couldn't and he never would. He would never, ever love Taylor. Taylor knew that now. As he shakily got to his next class, he didn't last long. He faked sick and went home early. He went to his room and laid on his bed. He couldn't sleep though. He just stared at the ceiling. How could he go on? He didn't think he could. The love of his life, the person he was willing to do ANYTHING for was a giant homophobe who wouldn't even talk to a gay person. That would never work, obviously. He could never get close to someone like that. And it sounded like if he even tried again that something bad would happen to him.

Taylor continued to have dark thoughts. Even fantasizing about his life would Jay just didn't work anymore. It felt false. And instead of realizing that these things would never happen and moving on, there was now just an emptiness inside Taylor. He couldn't replace it with anyone or anything. Jay was the only answer. He was everything. His mind was spiriling thinking of all the things they wouldn't do.

Jay would never take Taylor to dinner all dressed up. He wouldn't show up at Taylor's door in his nice clothes; they fit somewhat awkwardly but adorably over his huge size. He wouldn't open the door to his truck for Taylor. He wouldn't say, "No, I've got this" when Taylor attempted to pay for dinner. As they walked back to Jay's truck, Taylor wouldn't be suddenly embraced by the huge bear of a man and literally swept off his feet and into a passionate kiss with his dream man before they even get back to his truck. Right there in the parking lot, Taylor wouldn't get his hands under Jay's shirt and feel his massive muscles as they kiss. And Jay certainly wouldn't grope his ass and even go far as to wet his finger and stick it gently into Taylor's hole right in the parking lot. Jay wouldn't then take Taylor in his truck to a spot he knows in the middle of nowhere. He woudln't walk over to the passenger door, pick up Taylor in his arms, and take him back into the bed of pick up truck. He then wouldn't spread a blanket out in the bed of the truck and gently place Taylor down on it. He would never strip Taylor down of all his clothes, kissing his neck and nipples as he exposed his torso. He then wouldn't take off his shirt, exposing his huge hairy torso for Taylor's little hands to explore. He wouldn't then take off Taylor's pants, exposing his smooth legs and ass. He wouldn't lean over his body, pushing Taylor's legs back a bit until his hard cock is against Taylor's hole. Taylor wouldn't hear the lube squirting on Jay's cock and your hole. And you wouldn't feel his finger gently probe at Taylor's hole, spreading the lube inside. As Taylor moaned slightly he wouldn't feel Jay's breath in his ear and him say, "it's ok, I'll go slow. I've got you." And then Taylor wouldn't feel his big man cock slide into his hole and prepare him for the most passionate fuck of Taylor's life. And after Jay came, filling up his hole in the most satifsying way, Jay would never lean down, stare right into Taylor's eyes and tell him he loved him.

None of that would ever happen. So what was the point in imagining it? Taylor was tired of imagining an unrealistic future with Jay. So he would burn those memories, he wouldn't think of them again, he wouldn't let himself. But his brain was panicking, if he didn't have that, then what could he have? As he already realized, no one would ever fill that space. So his brain worked overtime, trying to save Taylor. They had to be some answer. How could he still have Jay in his life? How could have Jay in his life when he just threatened Taylor with something terrible if he even tried to talk to him. Subconsciously his mind thought and thought. And then, an insidious and twisted thought came into Taylor's head. At first it disgusted him. It terrified him. And he couldn't even believe he thought it. It was shocking and it was dangerous. And then he thought it again. His mind was like a maze trying to find a way out of this. Every path was a dead end except for this one. He kept coming back to it.

And then something even more terrifying started to happen. It started to make sense to Taylor. There was a logic to it. Once he humored it, it became more enticing. While his brain searched for other options, this one was getting more play. Yes, it could work. It was insane but it was his only option for a future with Jay. Yes, this was it. Eventually his brain stopped working so hard on other options and focused in on this one. It thought of the possibilities. Images that flashed in young Taylor's head would have terrified him a year ago. Well, maybe even a day ago. But now, in his bed, with Jay completely rejecting him, they were attractive.

How did that saying go? The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Taylor had not thought about that saying very much before but now it was the only thing on his mind. It felt true to Taylor, especially because of recent events. Taylor of course wanted love. And he couldn't get it. But what was worse? Jay hating him or Jay not even knowing he existed? In a way, Taylor saw hate closer to love than indifference. Hate brought out emotion. Taylor had seen that very clearly. He had seen had just talking to Jay made him feel. It was all over his face. It was in his eyes. Jay would think about Taylor if he hated him.

Taylor thought back to the moment Jay put his hands on him. That was physical contact. Sure it resulted in Taylor hitting head hard against the locker. But Jay touched him. Jay had felt strongly enough towards Taylor that he had to walk over and put his hands on him. That was something! That was a lot more than Taylor sitting around fantasizing about Jay while Jay never had a single thought about him. What if he could make Jay hate him so much that he really thought about Taylor. Thought about him a lot even?

Taylor did always love Jay's muscles. He loved how much strength he had. But he thought of Jay's strength as a protecting force. Sure, some of his fantasies revolved around Jay manhandling him in bed but always in a playful hot way, not in any serious way that would hurt him. But it turned him on thinking about how no one would mess with him while he was in Jay's arms. But now that thought was turned on its head. Taylor did love his strength, so what if it was used directly on him? What if Jay moved from a protecting force to a punishing, sadistic force against him. Then he could really feel his power and the strength against those muscles. Jay could really make Taylor feel the emotions he felt towards him directly. Physically, with direct contact with Taylor.

Taylor began to have violent thoughts about Jay. The sweet fantasies became very dark. He was training himself to become attracted to the only possible way that Jay would ever touch him: hurting him. He had heard the word masoschist before. He never thought of himself as one but now it suddenly became alluring. The way Jay's muscles tensed up and flexed that day. Using those against him would be passionate. Not in the typical way but he would take it. It would almost be like lovemaking. Taylor thought of Jay's fists hitting the locker. Taylor had made him feel that way. Now he was thinking of those fists being used on his body. He winced imagining the pain but he couldn't deny that it would make him feel SOMETHING. Something that Jay caused. Jay's homophobia would now be an asset to getting closer to Jay, not a hinderance. Jay clearly felt very strongly about homosexuals, and so Jay could be an outlet for those feelings.

Thinking through all this, Taylor began to finger his hole and touch his dick. It didn't come naturally to him to think like this, to be turned on by it. But he was trying it. And it made some sense to him. And most importantly, it was his only path forward so he would make it work. He looked at the videos of Taylor flexing. He thought about that body being used against him. Then he remembered: the punching bag video. He scrolled through his saved videos of Jay. He never thought much about this one but now it seemed perfect. He brought it up, got his dildo ready and watched. He saw how savagely Jay punched the punching bag in his video. The big boxing gloves coming crashing against the bag. The way he was forcing it to move back and forth. Taylor looked at his face, filled with almost anger. He thought about the testosterone coursing through Jay's body. And then he imagined instead of the punching bag, it was him strung up there, receiving Jay's fists. "Ohhhhhhh," he moaned as he forced the dildo in and out. Taylor's fists, his angry face, the feeling of hitting the locker. It was turning him on. It was working. He thought of the way Jay said "faggot". So much hate behind it. "Ohhhh Jayyyyyy," he moaned as he fist connect with punching bag. His mind was racing. Yes. This was it! YES! Before he knew it, he was spraying cum all over himself.

Taylor laid in his bed, covered in his own cum, the dildo still pushed into his ass. He never thought he could ever cum to something like this but here he was. He was a mess. Jay had completely ruined him. He briefly had the thought that he wished he had never seen Jay lifting weights that day. That he had never smelled his pheromones, the chemicals forever altering his brain to only thing about Jay. But that thought quickly left his brain. What replaced it was a plan. A plan forward to get Jay into his life. It was dark, it was twisted, and if Taylor were to tell it to anyone that would have him institutionalized. But he could have Jay and that's all that mattered. It was February 7th and Taylor thought how nice it would be to enact his plan on Valentine's Day. He smiled to himself in his bed. He looked insane and had tears in his eyes. But it was the only way and so he accepted it and began planning.

February 14th

With the shower running, Taylor thought of everything he had to do for his and Jay's date tonight. It all had to go perfectly - and he knew it would. So far it had. Everything had gone just to Taylor's plan. And he finally actually had Jay! Tonight would be the best night of his life, he thought. As he thought this, he began to strip off his clothes. He took off his shirts, revealing his thin torso. And then his pants, showing his thin legs. He filled out his underwear nicely though, he looked at as his ass and rubbed it, hoping it was good enough for Jay. And then he looked at himself in the face.

Wow, it looked so good. It was everything he had been thinking about for so long. And Jay had finally done it. He brought his hand up to his face and flinched a bit when he touched it. But he smiled to himself in the mirror. What stared back at Taylor was a big black eye that was still forming. He was practically crying tears of joy as he looked at himself. The markings of the "kiss" Jay had given him. "Thank you Jay! Thank you for that intense kiss!" he said to no one except himself as he admired his gruesome shiner. And then he pulled himself from the mirror into the shower.

Part 2 coming February 14th!​​​​